only in Memphis

this is the end

2008-09-10T13:21:00.002-05:00

no more only in memphis posts.
loving and making fun of this city has just gotten old.
a final haiku for you, only in memphis. peace out.

east side, west side- main.
don't be a hater- bitches.
yeh, i be ON that.

hurricane gustav evacuees

2008-09-02T19:13:00.005-05:00

For real, come the fuck on Memphis shit-bag thieves! Are you kidding me? How could you?

As the Cosby would say "Come on people!"

this was taken from the Commercial Appeal,
article by Jody Callahan.

"One evacuee was carjacked in Memphis about 12:30 a.m. Monday, police said.
The incident happened at Baltimore and Southern.
Two males carjacked a Mitsubishi Galant with Louisiana plates."

west tennessee veterans cemetery

2008-08-20T00:55:00.005-05:00

The W.T.V.C. sits on the city dividing line (literally) where Memphis and Germantown meet on Forest Hill-Irene, therefore I still consider it as being in Memphis and wanted to share my experience there on 'Only in Memphis'.

I drove to east Jesus on the Bill Morris Autobahn last weekend (en route to Carriage Crossing, thank you Sephora) and decided to stop and check out the cemetery after I saw an interstate sign pointing me in that direction. It was a really pretty day and it was late in the evening and the sign on the gate said the cemetery was closed, but the gates were still opened. The sun was setting (a dim pink and orange hazy one) and immediately upon entering the park I saw 2 deer. I was the only person there and it was kind of scary in a surreal and comforting way.

The grave markers were beautifully aligned in an attempt to make them all appear the same. I got out of my car and walked around. The names and dates are all engraved in the same font as well as the war they served in and any honors (lots of purple hearts). Some had flowers, some did not, some had wives' names on the back of the grave marker (very interesting indeed) and I started to read the names and think about the Tennessee man or woman each marker represented.

I was overwhelmed with a sense of peacefulness and thankfulness for my own life and for history in general.
Life is good, Life is great.

Isaac "Bubba Lee" Hayes

2008-08-11T18:50:00.003-05:00

a haiku for you

oh, you will be missed
you hot buttered-shut your mouth
right on, yeah right on

reefer repair

2008-08-08T17:26:00.002-05:00

special thanks to Kimberly and Jerm for sending this one...
only in Memphis baby!

mud island riverwalk

2008-08-02T13:32:00.002-05:00

I used to love to go to Mud Island as a child, when it opened the awesome" Riverwalk", which mimics the Mississippi River's path to the Gulf of Mexico. I never see anyone down there anymore, what happened Memphis?

We need to bring the party back to the Island!

another sad Memphis situation

2008-07-28T09:09:00.003-05:00

Jessie Dotson is the Memphis man who confessed to murdering the children on Lester Street on A & E's show "The First 48".
The show was edited, and he is presumed innocent until he is tried in court, but that is not why I am writing this post.
I am writing it because I cannot help but look deeply into Jessie Dotson's eyes in the attached photograph.
Perhaps this is due to my obsession with a person's eyes in general.
I have always believed that the eyes are the windows to the soul.

My point is, these eyes tell a sad story, a story that started years before the acts Mr. Dotson played out on Lester Street. As a Memphis City School teacher, these are the stories I see in many of my students' eyes. I often wonder if Mr. Dotson had any positive adult role models as a child. Did he go to a Memphis City School? Did anyone try to reach out to him?

I also wonder how many former MCS students have been incarcerated for violent crimes?
I know no one else cares, but I do.

memories of a middle school teacher

2008-07-21T22:31:00.004-05:00

Teaching for Memphis City Schools has been an eye opening experience, to say the least.
I teach middle school students, AKA- the roughest, meanest, most hormonal, moody little boogers you have ever met.
This is no job for a sissy girl or a girlie man.
These Memphis students will eat you alive if they smell weakness.

My first year has ended and now I am enjoying my summer.
This time of reflection has prompted me to capture some of my favorite moments
of my first year as a Memphis City School teacher:

~ 5th graders were caught sucking each others wieners in restroom
~ 6th grade student had a baby
~ 7th grade girls used their own feces to "decorate" the restroom
~ 8th grade boys smoking some weed in the restroom (the least of my concerns)

but my favorite moment of all was:

~ being told 5 minutes before that I would not be teaching art that day, instead I would teach SEX ED to 8th grade BOYS!!
Items discussed were why you should not skeet on your girlfriend when she backs it up and dumps it because a Superman is really gross. And you thought I was getting paid all of your tax dollars to teach art!

brother shoots sister

2008-07-09T08:37:00.002-05:00

This is so sad and so typical of a Memphis crack-head-ghetto mother.

A five-year-old boy accidently shot his six-year-old sister in the hand yesterday
at the Goodwill Village Apartments.

Witnesses reported hearing as many as three shots.

The children's PIECE OF SHIT excuse for a mother was in another room of the apartment, with her infant.

The biggest crime of all is that this whore has 3 kids. Ugh, those poor kids.

I am ready to launch my campaign to keep Memphis trashy mothers from breeding.
I am serious.

Here is my slogan
"Let's PAY them to SPAY them"

john ford

2008-07-02T09:16:00.005-05:00

This corrupt-ass excuse for a man can't even get anyone to sit in on his jury because everyone knows he is one guilty motherfucker, yeah, I said it. The best part is that for once in this fine city of Memphis, even the race card can't save him.

WMCTV is showing Bubs' drawings from the trial, and of course they are not giving Bubs any credit.
Assholes.

A haiku ( also known as a 5-7-5) for John Ford, Tennessee Waltzman:
~Brothers and sisters
~Black and white agree-John Ford
~better not drop soap

Kroger robbed (again)

2008-06-23T08:28:00.002-05:00

Two days ago I was in the east Memphis Kroger at Mendenhall and Sanderlin. As I was checking out with my loot for Dwayne's wing-off, the bank inside the grocery was getting robbed for the second time in less than 2 weeks. The time was 10:00 am, tons of people were around- oh yes, tons of citizens- but no police or security in sight. The crooks got away because no one even tried to stop them. I have spent 36 years in this city and I am so fucking tired of ghetto ass crooks. My message to them (even through they are not blessed with the ability to read):

"Get a real job like the rest of us. Sell your gun, gold teeth and Hummer if you really need money. And for God's sake, wear a condom so that you cannot reproduce anymore and send all of your kids to Memphis City Schools."

student stabs another student with eyeliner

2008-06-20T09:58:00.003-05:00

This is real. Mitchell High made the news again, this time for a female summer school student who tried to stab another student WITH HER EYELINER pencil. Now that is ghetto fabulous, Memphis. What next? Choking someone with your weave?

meth lab found in Memphis car

2008-06-19T23:26:00.003-05:00

A black Lexus was found in the parking lot of a Mapco at the intersection of Yale Road and Covington Pike with a meth lab in the trunk. How ghetto is that?

Homie Depo

2008-06-17T07:08:00.004-05:00

This city has so many great small businesses. Special thanks to Fudge for finding this one on Summer Avenue.
Homie Depo shares a parking lot with Taqueria Guadalupana. That way you can get your taco on after you shop for some hoochie wear.

Jerm's refrigerator

2008-06-09T08:03:00.002-05:00

Jerm swears she is about to adhere these stickers to her bumper after years of having them attached by magnet to her frige.

humid

2008-05-28T06:38:00.002-05:00

Memphis has the highest humidity rate in the world, perhaps the universe. Rain forests are less humid than Memphis.
A haiku on humidity:

~Wake, take a shower~
~Hair afro-frizz sets in fast~
~Shower did not take~

maggie's pharm

2008-05-21T16:57:00.002-05:00

A personal Memphis favorite since I was in High School is Maggie's Pharm. It is in the Overton Square area in Midtown (short walking distance from Bari Ristorante) and is way cool. They have lots of hippie-ish stuff like incense, candles. They also have dried herbs, spices, tea leaves in big glass jars sold by the ounce.

If you are a Memphian, there is no reason to go to a big mall or chain store to buy gifts for friends and family. Maggie's has cards, essential oils, Crabtree and Evelyn, Burt's Bees, awesome jewelry, natural soaps and hair products and tons of fun little doo-dads.

Go green by supporting local business! and please BYOB (bring your own bag).

peace my city, peace.

bo-jo's

2008-05-19T16:13:00.004-05:00

Bo-Jo's is the best store in Memphis.
Where else can you find mountains of records, old newspapers, old magazines,
toys from every decade imaginable, vintage everything- and OMG- the bookshelves are full of gems.

You should support Bo-Jo's for all of your household items and gifts for people- screw Target, keep it local y'all.

Silky's Mom

2008-04-19T11:49:00.002-05:00

Funeral services for Silky Sullivan's Mom, Mrs.Mary Elizabeth Kimzey Sullivan, will be held today at Calvary Cemetery.

Down Home with The Neely's

2008-04-13T13:38:00.002-05:00

Pat and Gina Neely, owners of Neely's BBQ on Jefferson, have a new hit TV show on the Food Network.
Now that is what I call a positive reflection of the great folks in our city.

Go Memphis!

That Gina Neely cooks it up with a healthy dose of sass.

our neighbor has a rooster

2008-04-09T18:26:00.003-05:00

One of our neighbors (precisely which house is still uncertain at this time) has a rooster that makes me very happy every morning when I head off to work.
That is so Memphis to have a yardbird. I bet that rooster is pimp just like this fella.

I took his picture on a day trip when Bubs and I drove to Shelby Forrest.
I think Bubs needs a chicken or a rooster for our yard.

go Tigers!

2008-03-30T18:36:00.003-05:00

It seems the only thing holding the City of Memphis together is the Tigers and their success in the basketball tournament.
Final Four Baby!!!!!

Lord knows we need some positive press, despite the many haters of our bad ass team. Jealous?

oh Memphis, oh mayor

2008-03-21T10:16:00.006-05:00

Oh lordy, here we go again. Willie is up to his shenanigans and has apparently tossed in a hint that he would like to work for the school board again.

If this happens, perhaps he will like this new motto for our school system,
"no child is ever left behind on shit creek without their own turd for a paddle"

snow Bro

2008-03-10T17:55:00.002-05:00

Snowman with afro, only in Memphis.

fight fight

2008-02-28T17:00:00.003-06:00

A haiku to describe what happens in Memphis public schools every day.

fight fight black and white
mexican skin, also in
angry, nasty, mean

There is so much racial tension at school. When the bells ring in between classes it is like watching rabid animals being released from captivity. The fights happen in a split second, several every day. Some are huge fights and some are small sparks adding to a major time-bomb waiting to explode. Girls are the worst about hitting each other from behind.

Memphis kids are so freaking angry.

no where else but here

2008-02-27T16:31:00.002-06:00

No where else but here in Memphis would you find a giant empty
pyramid that is sucking tax dollars faster than a whore on Lamar and Airways.

She-nay-nay in the house!

misspelled sign

2008-02-26T21:47:00.003-06:00

Memphis has tons of misspelled signs.
This one is not particularly funny but it is worth sharing.

1st grader brings a DILDO to school

2008-02-13T16:53:00.005-06:00

I guess a dildo is better than a gun, right?

Last night I spent 3 hours with twelve art teachers.
Items discussed were:

- The dildo that was brought to school by a 1st grade girl (North Memphis school).

- How to make a sixth grade boy with a nasty attitude cry like a baby in front of his peers.

- The evil eye.

- The vast amount of our students whose parent (or parents) are in jail.

- The other teachers who think that art is not a real class and enjoy saying rude comments that undermine the arts in general.

Have you missed me?

2008-02-10T17:28:00.001-06:00

I have missed myself, but I think I am back.
I started teaching for a public school this year.
This has changed my life in so many ways.

My blog is going to highlight many of the wonders and amazing blunders of being an inner city art teacher in 2008. You won't believe the shit I am going to share with you.

Let the games begin.

Here is a nice story and photo. This was a good day at school.

Elmwood Cemetery

2007-10-28T13:56:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite places to visit is Elmwood, especially during the fall season.
I like to go early in the morning and get lost walking around with my camera.
The history at Elmwood whispers through the trees and gives me a chilling feeling.
There is some Ju-Ju going on here and I like it a lot.

I also like my digital Polaroid and brand new Macbook, thank you photographic technology.

Hickory Hood

2007-10-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

Big Daddy's Pawn looks so pimp in the old Target building.

Why was I in that area?
Because Jay-Bo told Bubs and me about
the greatest Mexican restaurant ever
in the Winchester/ Hickory Hill area.

He was correct, scrumptious indeed.

We're so pretty, oh so pretty...we're vacant!

2007-10-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

And we don't care!

Sears Crosstown, what a pity.

Special thanks to this guy.

2007-10-05T07:11:00.000-05:00

I am the walrus, koo-koo-ka-choo.

I quit. I give up.

2007-10-05T06:51:00.000-05:00

Fucking idiots, please pinch me to see if I am having a nightmare.

Tiger Time

2007-09-22T11:54:00.001-05:00

Sorry folks, I am not talking about the U of M Tigers, nor the real tigers at the Memphis Zoo.
I am talking about Tiger Time Lawn Care who employs bikini clad girls to perform your
various yard duties.

I wonder what type of highly educated young lady works at Tiger Time?
I bet there is at least one gal on staff named
Brittani, Mysti, Tammi or Cristal
(please note that the spelling of each name uses the letter "I").

Classy!

Extreme election 2007 fully loaded

2007-09-12T16:23:00.000-05:00

What the hell is going on with this election?

Sun Studios

2007-09-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time comin'-but we can all agree on this one...

ONLY in Memphis!

Guess who's back, back again...

2007-09-06T23:27:00.001-05:00

Old Melvis has a new job as a teacher. Sorry the blog got pushed aside for a month, but I have students who need Melvis and her supreme teaching skills right now. So here's to you who have wondered what the hell I am doing- a double blog entry tonight to make up for my slackiness.

And here's a shout-out to all of the teachers of Memphis public schools ( who actually do their job) hear me now- you ARE the ba-dunk-a dunk of this city.

And so I conclude with a little secret- my favorite store, ONLY in Memphis- the EXTRA 7-11 on Poplar at Manassass. It is crunk.
They have Rap Chips (I say "chirrups") in every flavor (the bbQ sweeties are divine) ,cold tall boys in big ice bins, incense (the good stuff, Nag Champa) and the guys that work there are awesome.

Note to self: It would not be in your best interest to go there late at night by yourself, trust me on this one.

Balloon Man

2007-08-14T19:46:00.000-05:00

Support your local entrepreneur extraordinaire, Memphis!
Even in the heat wave, he's just a sellin' some balloons & basically keepin' it real while puttin' a smile on the kids' faces.

Northwest corner of Cleveland and Poplar, parking lot of the BP gas station.
I have seen him between the hours of 3:00 and 5:00 PM.

a must see for those in need of a happy day, and you should FO SHO' buy one of them balloons.

New Bridge

2007-08-05T14:31:00.000-05:00

Some funky night and sultry day shots of the bridge.

Party like a rock

2007-08-05T14:03:00.000-05:00

It seems many Memphians love to tag things, the Vito Acconci sculpture at Front and Poplar, the walls of Huey's, the train trestle at Ridgeway and Park (I loved the Harry Potter tag, did you see it? hilarious..."Fred Dies, Not Harry" ha ha ha ha)

anyhoo, this one really BLEW my mind.
On my morning walk I found this little gem of a tag-probably done by some drunk redneck girl from Frayser named Crystal who likes to drink Bud Ice Light and smoke Misty Menthol 100 slims.

No wonder the river banks look like crap.

And that song is so freaking stupid..."pawtee like a rock, pawtee like a rock star"
almost as stupid as "hey ba-bay, hey ba-bay".

Pink Cadillac

2007-07-26T10:41:00.000-05:00

This is no Mary Kay ride here, this is fer real.
I almost had a wreck taking this photo, because bro was cruisin' pretty fast.
But I was trianed to take photographs by the best professor in the world, Baldwin Lee.
Always have your camera ready, always.
People who keep their cameras in bags and always have to change the lens, well- they do not get the shot.
I always get the shot.

Tee Tee's and some Binghampton action

2007-07-22T07:35:00.000-05:00

I just love painted signs, and Memphis has so many awesome ones.
The Binghampton neighborhood has some of the best.

another painted sign

2007-07-14T17:05:00.000-05:00

This painted sign is on Summer Avenue (go past White Station, under the I-240 ramp toward the rural area).
I think I have finally found that web designer I was looking for!
I bet he is a real hi-tech kind of guy.

And what is with the girl for 10 bucks an hour? sounds fishy to me.

Fabio

2007-07-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen this guy?

He walks up and down Poplar and Madison downtown.
EA says he is really Michael Bolton, and I agree, but I still can't help calling him Fabio.

I always see him when I need a little cheering up and it works like a charm.

He aint heavy, he's my brother

2007-07-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

I found a Polaroid of this ripped brother while walking in the lawn of Pyramid Academy, a Memphis City School on Poplar at Bellevue.

Why was I walking in that ghetto ass neighborhood you ask?
Because that is how I roll.

I am not sure if the photo just ended up on the school lawn,
or if this brother sent his picture to a student or teacher and they dropped it.

All I know is, only in Memphis...only in Memphis.

The Buick has died

2007-07-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

It is true, the Buick has died, after so many great years.
The Silver Bullet was a good car to me, and free (thank you Granny, sorry about the bullet holes!)
It is no secret that the City of Memphis boastfully flaunts hoopties like my Buick.

The Silver Bullet was my pimpest ride ever.
It will be missed dearly as I begin many years of making car payments.
Ugh. It's a good thang I am hood rich.

I shall draft a haiku to express my feelings:

My Buick has died
MATA bus, afraid to ride
"The Man" can suck it

up on Bellvue

2007-07-07T21:49:00.000-05:00

Have you ever driven down Bellevue heading south from Lamar?
Well, you should try it soon; it is a visual gem of magnificent fabulousness.

Look closely at the walls of the concrete underpass and you will find some bad ass painted Stax murals, and a lot of litter.
Then you will pass the Stax Museum area, also a visual gem.
The demographics change faster than light as you make your way toward Graceland.
Whitehaven suddenly seems like another continent.

I caught a glimpse of this establishment called "Monroe's Beauty and Barber" out of the corner of my eye and had to screech the Buick over a lane in front of a pink Cadillac (not a Mary Kay Cosmetic one, I am talkin' a stone cold pimp pink Cadillac). Sweet, they have a party room for rent. I am thinking it will be perfect for JT's 50th.

painted sign

2007-06-25T18:29:00.000-05:00

check out the ghetto painted Tony the Tiger, heeeeeee's GRRRRRRREAT!

Diver

2007-06-11T18:01:00.000-05:00

Only in Memphis can you get a Diver from Silky's.
We took Jerm there on her 36th Birthday to whet our thirst en route to Ernestine and Hazel's,
we did not get home until around 4:00 am, pretty good for old ladies like us.

Anyway, we saw tons of young twenty-somethings slurping down Divers, a nasty
mix of every liquor behind the bar and served in a classic yellow bucket.
Divers are meant to be shared, hence the 20 straws, and I would not drink one at my age if you paid me.

I do, however, covet the yellow buckets for my studio.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

2007-06-07T07:20:00.000-05:00

Melvis and Bubs have been in the fine city of Milwaukee on vacation.
Coming home to Memphis, ahhhh, Memphis, was a bitter sweet reunion.

Now that we are back in Memphis, it seems there was a crime spree while we were gone.
Oh, I am sorry, every day is a crime spree in Memphis.
I guess it just exploded while we were gone.

we came home to this:
2 murders less than one mile from our house on the night we got back, the suspect...murderer, is still loose in my neighborhood with a gun, happy happy joy joy!

the next night there was a stabbing, again this was only blocks from our house.

and the next day, this is one of my personal summertime favorites, leaving a baby in a smouldering hot car in a Kroger parking lot!!!

way to go Memphis!!!!
Mongo for Mayor, anyone?

Girl I got the hookup!

2007-05-14T11:22:00.000-05:00

Compliments of H.A.
who can guess where this sign is?

only in memphis can you buy cell phones and cell phone accessories and 100% human hair in the same store!!!

love it sister!!!!!!

Farmer's Market

2007-05-11T05:58:00.000-05:00

The addition of a Farmer's Market in Downtown Memphis has been in demand for years.
Last year it finally became a reality.

This year it is back, and it is bigger and better!

I went on opening day, May 5, and of course I was there at 6:59 AM (it opens at 7:00 AM).
I bought the best baby bok choy, rapini (broccoli rabe-whatever you like to call it), honey and some pecans...YUM!

The best thing about the market is that all products are locally grown, making them as fresh as can be.
Plus, anyone who has ever had a garden in Memphis, say growing tomatoes ('maters), knows that nothing
beats the rich delta soil for growing veggies. My grandfather, JuJu, used to grow the best tomatoes ever.
JuJu is not with us anymore and the closest thing to a JuJu tomato can fo' sho' be found at the
Memphs Farmer's Market.

It is a great place to take your morning cup of coffee and browse the vendors for something healthy that tastes great too.
The market is located in the south parking lot behind the PowerHouse Gallery.
It is open every Saturday (7:00 AM until 1:00 PM) during the harvest season.
It is also a great place to meet folks who are down to earth (flip-flops, shorts, tank-tops, dirty hair from the night before, it does not matter).

If you have never been, go get some cash (not sure if vendors take checks or plastic) and support local farmers. You just might make a new friend or see some funky fruit or vegetable you have never tried. What better reason to check it out?

The King

2007-05-05T10:56:00.000-05:00

Ha ha! I bet you thought I was going to do an Elvis post, well you are WRONG!
(no offense E, you know I love you)

Whan I say King I mean one thing and that is Memphis' own
Jerry 'the King' Lawler.

I remember watching him when I was a kid on Saturday mornings with Dave Brown, those were the good old days of wrestlin'.

Here's to you Jerry, it's cats like you who make Memphis the coolest city on earth.

Memphis in May

2007-05-03T07:44:00.000-05:00

May is my favorite time of year in Memphis.
Where else can you enjoy the Beale Street Music Fest?
(May 3-5)
This year's lineup boasts bands like Social Distortion, Steely Dan and the often debated Three Six Mafia.

After MusicFest, the World Champion Barbecue Festival kicks off.
(May 17-19)
This is a time when the riverfront turns into a little city with one mission in mind, well perhaps two missions.
Cooking barbecue (pork that is) and drinking beer....ah, the life!

Or perhaps you like things a little more laid back, well then you won't want to miss the Sunset Symphony,
the traditional finale in Tom Lee Park, on May 26th. I saw that The Temptations will be playing this year, sweet.
I hope they will play "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" because that song is bad ass.

Come rain or shine (it typically rains at this time of year) the show must go on!
Hope to see some of you there!
Fun, fun, fun!

Piggly Wiggly

2007-04-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

America's first true self-service grocery store, was founded in Memphis, Tennessee in 1916 by Clarence Saunders.
Yes, there are Piggly Wiggly stores in many of the eastern states, but we all know the Memphis one is the best.

Here's to you Mr. Saunders!!!!!!

wicked air guitar

2007-04-19T13:33:00.000-05:00

This is the rockin' teenager who plays some bad ass air guitar with a Little Caesar's sign on the corner of Park and Mendenhall (or is it Mt. Moriah there? how very Memphis to change street names a billion times)

Anyway, this kid is pretty much my hero. The video is grainy, but I like to pretend he is listening to Master of Puppets by Metallica...

"Come Crawling faster,
Obey your master,
Your life burns faster,
Obey your master, master, master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings.
Twisting your mind and
smashing your dreams.
Blinded by me,
you can't see a thing.
Just call my name, cause I'll her you scream!"

This is my first attempt at adding my own video to my blog, I have tried 3 times now so I will just give you the link until The Saucier can assist me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23cTCi15CRI

The New Olivet Baptist Church

2007-04-11T16:12:00.000-05:00

Ah, what is a Memphis blog without a Memphis church?

This one is on Southern Ave. and I just love their current sign.

Prince Mongo

2007-04-07T09:45:00.000-05:00

In the mid 1970's my family lived on Linden, just a block or so from Prince Mongo's home (he has now moved to east Memphis). On Halloween I used to love to go trick or treat at his house because he had a skull and crossbones on his door, and I think it may have been real bones. I also clearly remember my mom telling me not to go near his home, but I did it anyway. One day he had a crew of hippie folks digging a grave in his front yard and my brother and I asked if we could help. They gave us some shovels and we asked "why are we digging a grave in Prince Mongo's front yard?" Their answer was "so he can bury himself alive". Our answer was "O.K." and we all kept digging.

As an adult, I still dig Prince Mongo.
He is as Memphis as it gets.

Please check out his myspace page and watch the videos, here is the website...

www.myspace.com/prince_mongo

Bari

2007-03-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

While Bari may be a region in southeastern Italy, Memphis is the proud home of Bari Ristorante E Enoteca.
Chef and owner Jason Severs (I like to call him Yason Sevoissier, the French Painter) and his sidekick Chief Bubbie (and his magical flute) cook up some of the best food in town.

The wine list is wonderful, the cheeses are divine and the employees are...like family.

I hope you enjoy my photos of the ultra-thin zucchini, which Chief Bubs often rolls into flower shapes, as well as the fresh fish that Jason gets daily (Yum) and Jason in a fire-flaming action shot.

Also featured is a photo of Omar, who we all miss dearly (Hola Omar, como estas tu en Mexico? No mas changos en Memphis!)

Even Channel 5's Jarvis has a spot in the kitchen at Bari!!!!

If you have never been there, you can make reservations online at www.barimemphis.com,
or you can walk in and sit at the bar. Bari is sure to please and in my opinion is the best Italian restaurant in Memphis.

Bari is located at 22 S. Cooper in the wonderfully fabulous and ecclectic Midtown Memphis.

Elvis

2007-03-22T11:34:00.000-05:00

I love this guy. You can find him walking up and down Madison, especially when the weather is nice!

MLGW

2007-03-10T14:23:00.000-06:00

Aren't we all so proud of MLGW President Joseph Lee and his program to allow certain people to refrain from paying their outstanding MLGW bills?

I am so damn tired of the leadership in our city.

World Overcomers Church

2007-03-07T13:47:00.000-06:00

My version of The New Colossus that should accompany that hideous structure at Kirby and Winchester.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door so that I may see myself
totally barfing.

Payne's

2007-03-04T19:41:00.000-06:00

I do not eat pork, beef or chicken anymore. I used to (about 14 years ago) and when I did I really loved me some Payne's Barbecue. It is on Lamar and I admit that on certain hot summer days I am tempted to chow down on some pork shoulder. Barbecue tofu anyone?

Help me Lord on this Second Sunday of Lent, give me strength.

Orange Mound

2007-02-16T10:18:00.000-06:00

I love how 201 Poplar is honored in the painted mural of Memphis, how appropriate.

Willie...some money... and a moment of silence for Anna Nicole.

2007-02-10T19:43:00.000-06:00

African house

2007-02-07T13:34:00.000-06:00

This house was recommended by "The Saucier" as a must see for Only in Memphis.
I am speechless.

It is on Semmes betwixt Park and Quince (Barron, Rhodes... whatever the hell it is called).

Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh MY!

The P and H Cafe

2007-01-31T20:54:00.000-06:00

One of Memphis' finest establishments is The P and H Cafe.
I have been going there since I was a kid when Upshaw
used to take Jerm and me there and we would dance on the tables to
"Don't Mess With My Toot-Toot".

The times have changed since then, Wanda is no longer there,
but Jo always greets me with a frosty Coors Light and Bob
always makes us artists feel right at home. Plus Dwayne has made it the
hippest art venue in town... you can get a show at Mary Boone
before you can get a show at The Poor and Hungry.

So get you some Jiffy Pop, a cold Coors Light, some quarters for the juke-box & pool table and head on down to the P & H.
I hear they have karaoke on Friday,
sweet.

I nabbed this photo of Wanda from the P & H website.

www.pandhcafe.com

Sweden Kream

2007-01-29T12:42:00.000-06:00

Can you guess where this bad ass painted sign is?

Raiford's

2007-01-17T17:55:00.000-06:00

My favorite thing to do in Memphis, hands down, is to go to Raiford's.
I am always up for Raiford's.

The only things you need to know before you go are:
1. you must be drunk, I mean really-really crunk and ready for some action
2. you must dance
3. you must not discriminate
4. no party poopers allowed, stay home if you are a baby
5. if you hear "Double Dutch Bus", you will know Melvis is in the house

A last word of advice for all the ladies, you might have to bitch-slap at least one white trash HO in the bathroom, but it's all good. There are no haters at Raiford's. Only cold 40 ounces in this joint.

This fine foxy photo of Mr. Robert Raiford was taken by
my former U of M colleague, Justin Fox Burks, and was featured
in the September 28, 2006 spread of the Memphis Flyer.
I love this photo. I even named our copy machine at work Raiford
and taped a big color copy of the photo on the lid of the machine.

That is one sassy copy machine!

The Tomb of Doom

2007-01-10T18:49:00.000-06:00

I am really sad about the Pyramid, after all my father-in-law Terry did install the blinking light at the top.
And I did see
G-N-R there, and The Stones and Prince.
I went to The Wonder's Exhibits, I even graduated there (with my MFA, thank you very much).

Did you know the last concert scheduled at The Pyramid approaches soon?

It is Saturday, February 3, 2007.

Do you know who is playing?

Bob Seger, yes I freakin' said Seger.
I can't afford the tickets but I have hopes that I will win 98.1's
'Listen and Win' contest with Drake and Zeke.

Or that I can talk some rich Pyramid box holder into giving me his tickets.
You know he doesn't listen to Seger.
And he absolutely didn't see Rocky.

Against the wind,
I'm still runnin'!
Against the wind.

Runnin' against the wind.

Ernestine and Hazel's

2007-01-10T18:21:00.000-06:00

Did you know Ernestine and Hazel's has the coldest Coors Light in town?
well, they do!

They also have a slammin' jukebox and a pool table downstairs.

Upstairs is even better.
My cousin Dave peed on the bed up there.That was pretty gross.
Anyway, the upstairs bartender is Nate.
He is the cooest dude in town.
Here's to you Nate!

So....Get yourself a soulburger
(Jerm recommends you order two so you can take one home and nuke it the next day to cure the hangover)
and get yourself a cold Coors Light
and head on down to Ernestine and Hazel's to kick off 2007.

You won't run into any board members there.

Only in Memphis baby, only in Memphis.

Ghetto Ice Cream man

2007-01-04T21:49:00.000-06:00

This is for real, you can read it yourself on the side of the van written in cheap white shoe polish.
"This business is legit"
and The Ghetto Ice Cream Man don't lie!

He used to come down our street when we lived on "Haynes Skreet"

On this particular day I bought 20 ice creams for Bubs,
Mississippi Mud, Skrawberry Shortcake, Drumsticks...
all flavors and Push- Ups too.
This was the G.I.C. Man's largest transaction ever!

Memphis...He's YOUR Ice Cream Man-
stop him when he's passin' by.

If you are lucky he might let you take his photo in the van.

In case you were wonderin', the white dude is a crackhead that lived across the street.

Cleanest City...NOT!

2007-01-02T17:04:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my first blog! This blogspot is all about things one can only see in Memphis, Tennessee. This photograph was taken downtown while I was walking and looking at the vast amounts of litter adorning the ground. Somehow I thought the irony was funny.